25 Days of Beauty Wonder. Advent Calendar Day 21

Luxurious volume from root to tip. 


That’s a weighty promise and one that will have to wait to be fulfilled!!  Behind door 21 lay a full sized mascara, ‘Extravagant Volume, waterproof’.  But I’m not going to open it!!  I’m not even tempted.  It would be wasteful as I have a mascara open already and once opened it needs to be used up within 6 months.   I don’t know how it will possibly compete with my current product!  I’m loving Benefit’s ‘They’re Real’.  If you haven’t tried it, TREAT yourself, you won’t be disappointed! 

Christmas is four sleeps away and as I place the mascara in my Christmas tree to be photographed I am filled with a sense of pleasure and horror all at once.  I love my tree decorations.  Each ornament is glass, sparkly, silver and beautiful.  BUT my youngest child was playing too near it this afternoon and the whole thing came tumbling down. Now, it is a mess. Tinsel awry, lights loosely hanging, baubles in a pool on the floor and a missing star.  Nothing where it ‘should’ be…according to me!  I was going out tonight to meet a friend and I suggested to my family that they might want to fix the tree up a little whilst I was gone.  My suggestion was met with blank looks. ‘Nothing much wrong with it’ apparently.  I find this incredibly hard to digest.  And yet as much as it annoys me it reminds me of an amazing part of the story ‘The Shack’.  


The main character Mackenzie toils for hours in a garden with lovely Sarayu. They dig, snip, shovel, untangle and clear and when they finish it seems to Mac like there is so much more to be done.  He stands back and declares that although beautiful, the garden really is a mess. Sarayu explains that the garden is his soul and while they have been working relentlessly with each other, there has been a wondreful purpose. His soul is a wild chaos in colour. Confusing, stunning and incredibly beautiful is Mac’s heart. And mine.  And yours too! 

‘To you it seems a mess, but to me, I see a perfect pattern emerging and growing and alive-a living fractal’

My once beautiful tree, with no7 mascara in it, is without doubt a mess but instead of allowing my inherited OCD tendencies to rise up, I choose now to see it as a picture of how father sees me…….an incredibly, delightful, chaotic fractal that he loves to spend time in.  Wild, growing and alive.  Thank god I’m alive!

I go to bed now knowing that I am a mess, but a beautiful one.    



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